Living in the present is both the most simple and the hardest thing to do.
Our mind works and works and overthinks so much sometimes that I am afraid it might implode leaving me empty and devoided of fears and dreams and hopes and all that makes me who I am.
I keep thinking I want to own something. Right now I am not sure if what I want is a dog, or a house, or a baby or even my own business. I just have this intense feeling of owning something. Something accountable for. Something I can put my love into something. to create. To care for it.
Living in the present is letting go of worries. Enjoying the moment you are in; not caring about the repercussions or what everyone thinks.
In all honesty, although all of us would like to think they do, these are actually rare moments. In a whole night out there are a few moments when the beat really takes over and then suddenly you realize it and have a little back out moment before resuming. Before jumping naked to a waterfall you will always think about it just after coming out of the water…. why is it so weird for us to stop thinking and enjoy?
Why is it so difficult to assume that we spend more than the healthy amount of time too tuned in the persona we want to portray?
Sometimes I am seen as a little crazy. I laugh way too loud. I use my hands and gestures to better explain myself. I scream when I get scared. I curse when I bump into things. I apologise a lot; really people can come into me and an automatic sorry will slip. The truth is…. I spend a lot of time not aware of me. It sounds crazy, I know, and maybe I am not good at explaining…. but sometimes I am walking and look at the sky or something and BAM! a song about clouds will be ringing in my head and that will be all I think about. Sometimes I step on leaves even before I think about of how much I like the noise of them when they are crushed…
I like leaving in the moment…. I love to let go and I am sorry I don’t do it much. But that’s the thing isn’t it? The more you think about what you’re doing the less spontaneous it is, right?
So, let’s go and enjoy!